Political Profile: Abdul El-Sayed
Abdul El-Sayed is the Democratic nominee for the U.S. Senate in Michigan. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the progressive candidate. Ethnicity: Scary-American Personal Mission: Disproving harmful stereotypes about jacked Muslim doctors Campaign Strategy: Distract voters with ideas for improving government Largest Attack Ad Funders: AIPAC, Mike Rogers for Senate, DNC Where […] Th
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September 29, 2026
Abdul El-Sayed is the Democratic nominee for the U.S. Senate in Michigan. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the progressive candidate.
Ethnicity: Scary-American
Personal Mission: Disproving harmful stereotypes about jacked Muslim doctors
Campaign Strategy: Distract voters with ideas for improving government
Largest Attack Ad Funders: AIPAC, Mike Rogers for Senate, DNC
Where The ‘El’ In Name Comes From: Ancestors pandering for Latino vote
Hairline: Staunch, resolute
Why He Is Running: You know, sometimes he looks around at you knuckleheads and isn’t sure
Chances Of Winning: Still considered high despite months of bruising attacks from the Democratic Party
Posture Adjusted To Equally Incorrect Posture
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